Hurricane Ike
by Patinator
Summary: After countless jokes about a similarly-named hurricane on some weird "Earth" planet, Ike finally has enough. Warnings: Angry, rampant Ike Maybe . Oneshot And I do realize I'm late by about six, seven, eight months.


PM: Hooray, another Smash one-shot from me?

As you can most likely tell from any forum that can discuss weather and Smash Bros. Brawl, Hurricane Ike is spreading quickly in the form of a meme, really. The misinformed can probably figure things out from there.

_**He spins for his friends.**_

So let's begin, eh?

_**Hurricane Ike**_

It was a typical, pretty day for the Smash Mansion. How typical indeed; what story doesn't feature a similar setting?

Ahem. Yes, a normal day, but a boring one. Master Hand had chosen that day, a Saturday, in fact, to be one of four days in a four-month period that no fights would take place. Even a glove can feel the sweat, tears, and wear from other people, and Koopas, and giant penguins, and animals... Oh, and plumbers, of course.

But as it was a Saturday, there was NOTHING to do. All the gardening had been finished. No chores to be done. Saturdays had nothing in store on television except brain cell-depleting cartoons. Some yellow sponge comes to mind for some reason.

Master Hand was currently calling his cousin in a far-away land via a magical phone.

"Yes, cousin? Hi." said the deep-voiced white hand. "I was wondering if you… Look, I'm sorry I didn't invite you for the millionth time! Listen, can you patch up a few connections between our satellite system and the weather stations? I'm intrigued by this Hurricane Ike… Ha-ha. Hurricane Ike: he spins for his friends."

Questioning garble came from the other end.

"Meh. Thanks. Talk to you later, Glover."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Ike, on the other hand- the Smasher Ike, not storm Ike- was disgusted by a hurricane named after him. Well, at first, it was neat, but… Let's just get a current view of the situation, eh?

Ganondorf and Marth had volunteered to serve on a temporary "Smash Bros. Weather Channel", which was recorded in the basement of the mansion. Both were clad in black suits, and Ganondorf was currently in front of the weather map.

"…And Hurricane Ike continues to _**spin for his friends**_ down in the Gulf of Mexico toward Louisiana. We're stupid, so we predict that it'll hit Houston instead of New Orleans, where it's clearly going to head after this jog north you may notice. So, it'll hit Houston." said the Gerudo King.

He pointed at the screen. "Remember, Texans. _**Prepare yourselves. You'll get no sympathy from him.**_"

The television screen went black as an enraged Ike shut off the set and slammed the remote to the ground.

"Even Ganondorf mocks me. Marth too, earlier. HA, that automatically disproves all those dumb pairings between him and me on that creepy site." muttered the blue-haired warrior. He grabbed one of his swords from a nearby rack; it wasn't Ragnell, but a simple sword with a steel blade. In Tellius, and the Fire Emblem world itself, it was known as… A Steel Sword.

He ran down to the basement and interrupted Ganondorf continuing with his Hurricane Ike jokes by swinging his sword through the background. Wide-eyed, Ganondorf growled.

"WHAT did you do that for?"

Ike gritted his teeth. "Look, Giga Nose. Knock it off with all these dumb jokes. I'm only saying all that out-of-character garbage because that Sakurai person Master Hand mentioned is an idiot."

Wolf suddenly appeared on the scene, filing his claws. "As told by my adventure in pain caused by tripping, seen in _What's the Matter, Scared? Chapter Two: Wolf on Tripping…_"

Ike paused and gave him a weird look, then turned back to Ganondorf. But he was gone. A blue cape was visible behind a desk, meaning Marth had hid.

The blue-haired man lumbered over to Marth, who was, as with Ganondorf, in a business suit, except the cape. Ike stayed silent and grabbed a bunch of flash cards.

"…Hurricane Ike fights for his friends? …MARTH!"

The feminine swordsman looked up and sheepishly grinned. "Hello, Ike. Um, n-need something?"

Falco came down, holding a bagel. "If it's bread, then… HANDS OFF MY BR-"

Wolf shot him with his Blaster, initiating a fistfight.

"…Anyway, Marth…"

Ike turned back to Marth, finding him gone as well. He ran off to see Master Hand.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Master Hand could tell Ike meant business when the swordsman walked in. He wasn't holding some wimpy Steel Sword. The Ragnell was in Ike's grip as he entered the typical office building; the hand was "seated" in a chair behind a desk.

"Master Hand," addressed Ike calmly, "…Can you have everyone stop with all these idiotic jokes about me?"

The hand began sweating. Somehow. "Wh-what do you mean?"

The holder of Ragnell frowned. "You know. All these jokes such as the new hurricane Ike spinning for his friends, or the Texans preparing themselves because they'll get no sympathy. It isn't even GOING for Texas."

"OH YES IT IS CUZ I HAS PROOF" shouted Crazy Hand, who flew into the scene. Master Hand shoved him out a convenient door.

"DON'T COME OUT UNTIL YOU LEARN PROPER GRAMMAR AND SPELLING." yelled the right hand warningly before turning back to Ike.

"Surely it isn't THAT bad. I find them funny…"

"You don't get joked about daily, Master Hand." growled Ike in response. "It isn't just that. That lame quote you gave me, 'I fight for my friends'? Guess what. Everyone thinks I'm homosexual or something because of it! A bunch of yaoi garbage popped up on my favorite fanfiction site, too! I mean, Pit, Link, or Marth and I? Urgh."

"So… You're homophobic?"

Ike groaned loudly. "ARGH! No! But good grief. Just make everyone stop it with the dumb Ike jokes."

The hand bobbed up and down, nodding. "Sure, as soon as I call Glover, my cousin. He fixed up the connections to the REAL weather channels."

Ike smirked and left the office room. "Well then, no more Ike weather jokes on television."

A shadowed person garbed in a black robe with a hood covering his face, only red eyes being seen, entered the room beside Ike. Master Hand froze.

"…Who are you?"

"…YOU KNOW GLOVER, YET YOU DIDN'T PUT HIM IN THE BRAWL TOURNAMENT AS A CHARACTER? Oh, you are SO… Dead."

The figure pulled out a stick and began whapping Master Hand with it.

"THIS… IS… FOR… THE… FOLLOWING… REJECTED… CHARACTERS!" roared the evil-looking thing, stating a word with each hit. "LYON! GLOVER! MEGAMAN! BOMBERMAN! RIDLEY! BLACK KNIGHT! EPHRAIM! MICAIAH! MEWTWO! ROY! DAISY! BOWSER JR.! PAPER MARIO!"

Crazy Hand came in. "But Paper Mario wud b a clon3"

He got slammed by the stick as the figure began reciting the names of deserving people again…

PM: Okay, it was short, but meh! I liked it. I'm open to suggestions when it comes to editing this, though… It seems TOO short, even for a humor one-shot, the _**lowest, most degrading form of writing. _ **_R&R with no flaming please.


End file.
